My Lats Say Hello

(originally posted at wordpress.com on 12 July 2010)

9 a.m., I’m moving through sun salutations in one of my yoga classes.  I’m focusing my breath, my mind…I lengthen my arms to the sky & suddenly glance in the mirror as I begin to fold forward.

“Hey!” my latissimus dorsi shouts back.  For those of you wondering, this is the muscle that wings out on each side just under the arm.  It is usually prominent on body builders, not women in yoga class.  This is confirmed as I quickly scan the room using the mirror.  No other lats to be seen—only beautiful curves of the female form (no men today).  As we raise our arms, I check mine again.  Yep, the outline of my curve = lats, not breasts.

I gently nudged the thought from my mind & returned focus to my breath.  Obviously, the thought never completely left.  It has been lingering in my subconscious (& not-so-subconscious), toying with my self worth.

My body is strong.  It is becoming stronger every day, which in turn, has made me start to truly love my body for the first time.  So what happened in yoga the other day?

My Ego.

It emerges by first planting seeds of doubt & insecurity; then, it judges others to build itself back up.  “Yeah, but I bet they can’t do a pull up.”  Whether this is the case or not, it has no relevance to me & my body.

When self worth is pursued by the ego, it breaks only to be pieced together again through comparison to others.  Seemingly whole, but ultimately fragile with cracks of external, superficial assurances.

How do we overcome the ego?

Let go.

Let go of comparisons & judgments.  Let go of personalizing.  Let go of external identifications.  Let go of reactions.  Let go of attachments.  Let go of excuses.

Don’t complicate things; stick with the facts.

My name is Allie.  I can do a pull up.  My "curves" are my lats.

~

What insecurities have you learned to love about yourself? -- are learning to love or are going to start loving?

Comments

[Stef]

Hello Allie,

It's been so long! I'm enjoying the new areas your are venturing out in w/your blogs! Wondering about BodyRocktv workouts & if you bought a gymboss to time yourself. I'm considering purchasing one, but thought I'd check around to see if folks find using them quite useful & for other workouts too? Is it worth the $20... Hope you are quite well these days~

[Allie Finch]

Hi Stef! I've been thinking about you - it's good to hear from you.
I LOVE my Gymboss timer, which I've had for about 1.5 years. I've been thinking about reviewing it for awhile. I use it a lot, but really only for interval training. I love BodyRock style workouts (sometimes I follow hers, often I create my own centered around my own training goals). For me, it was totally worth $20. It's easier to push yourself completely when you are just following beeps & not worrying about watching your watch/clock. I like it so much, I've even thought about contacting them about doing an affiliate program on this page.